It's time to let go...
When I saw you in kindergarten uniforms, I knew it's the time for a transition in life. That's when you're officially a student. That's when you start the journey everyone does AFTER the childhood. That's when you are going to stick to the school for a couple of years until you're as old as me.
Yet, I couldn't describe my feeling. May you never know how much I love you since the moment you're born - from the time I won't feel anything if you didn't exist to the time I appreciate your existance so much that I hardly imagine. Now you're no more baby, although I assume that you're, since the first sight on you.
We're brothers with 14 years difference in age. But I'm convinced that, there's no generation gap in our brotherhood, unlike you with other elders. I've tried my best to put myself into your life, I mean, a child or a baby world. I found out some ways to play with you, entertain you, guide you, train you and sometimes educate you on something. Of course, sometimes I fool you, at the level that can be forgiven. However, I have to say sorry for letting off negative emotions on you.
I know there's a couple of times I did bad to you, thinking that you're not big enough to judge what I was doing. Sorry again, brother. I know you will forget it when time goes on but it's undeniable my bad. Sorry, for I ever made you think I'm a bad brother. Sorry, for I ever be a bad example.
Just a few days ago, you're 5 years old. I can't forget how much you have given me, unknowingly, in these past 5 years. I like to hug you, I like you to snuggle up to me, I like to listen to you... And I like so much to see your world. You have been a pleasant part in my life. You are cute and naive enough to chase away the negative feelings of the people around you. You are obedient and seldom bring big trouble to us. You're making the world more lively and vivid. We love living with you.
Thanks so much for being here to teach me some lessons. Not only knowledge about a baby and a young being, but also some principles of living that have lost in adults' world. Through that, I know more about humanity and I believe you've taught me to be a better man.
Yes, it's the time I have to control myself to treat you as an older child. I can't hug you or treat you as a baby when the time is up. I have to do it gradually, little by little to give me and you some space to adapt it. I actually should have done it when you're 5 years old or younger, but I really miss it.
I wonder in what age you will be able to read this post. I wonder how much longer you have to take to understand my words here. I wonder how much I could do, to let you know more about our time together when you grow bigger. But there's one thing simple - I love you, and you love me.
OK, my little brother, this post is going to end. Now you're turning into a student while I may be leaving school. We both are moving to a different milestone in life. It could change our lives as well. As several years later, I will be spending my time working and you will be busy with your school life.
Arrrh, I just can't stop myself typing. It is so unfair to you, because I'm the only one having the right to keep our memories. All I can do is trying to recall them back to you, when you're interested to know. And lastly, sincerely, I wish you to live better than me. Regards.
Cheers...
